


Powerful

by Jatzsmik



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 11:36:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12770232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jatzsmik/pseuds/Jatzsmik
Summary: Sayu had a difficult time recovering, and a lot of time alone with her thoughts.





	Powerful

She was morose for weeks. 

Time seemed to just…stop after the…the that. The feeling in her legs was gone – apparently, one slap too many had jarred something that wasn’t meant to be moved – but the doctors had told her (well, they’d told her mother, but her mother had ended up writing it on a note, so that was really the same thing as being told directly, right?) that the feeling should start returning soon, but she doubted it.

Sometimes, she even hoped that it wouldn’t.

As humiliating as the wheelchair was, being in it was the safest the young woman had felt in months. 

The doting of her mother was just an added bonus to that security. Ever since she was little, it had always been ‘your brother’ this or ‘your brother’ that. As if having him be a certifiable genius wasn’t enough already, he had to be both their mom and dad’s pride and joy. She’d been left on the sidelines: painfully ordinary. 

She bit her lip, a burbling storm of negative emotions coming to the surface. It was her…. Her plainness that had made her the victim. The target, she reminded herself. Being a victim was bad, apparently. Or at least, thinking of yourself was? It was hard to remember exactly. Must have fallen asleep during that friendly lecture. 

No matter, not like the shrew was interesting to listen to anyways. 

Pretty much just told her to talk more (selective mutism was also, apparently, bad) and to not blame herself for what had happened to her. Maybe throwing in a be grateful or two every once and a while. Though…. For the life of her, she couldn’t figure out what about that she had to be grateful for.

Blindfolds, sunglasses, hats – anything that reduced her field of vision were repulsive. Screams, some her own, some not, continued to echo in her dreams. Sharp pain in her middle. Cruel laughs rang in her ears at the most inopportune moments. The frequent boughs of retching had yet to leave. Ghosts of hands creeping along her back. Sometimes, she had to keep flowers on her lap just so their sweet smell would force the acid scents of her memory away. 

Oh yes, she had many ‘gifts’ to be grateful for. 

She couldn’t even keep the bitterness from her mental voice, it seemed. Odd, when just four months earlier this very same girl would have gasped at sarcasm like that. Thinking of herself in the third person was new too. 

The shrew would have said, in that high pitched, overly nasally voice of hers that it was just another way you’re distancing yourself, dear. The only way to get better, darling, is to address your issue straight. 

The old Sayu would have just bowed her head and done her best to please. Being second best and an attention-starved girl left her rather compliant. Complacent too. New Sayu knew that she didn’t need to face her problems directly, she needed someone to blame.  
The problem with that was she couldn’t, despite her preexisting resentment, blame her brother in good conscience. No matter how involved he had been. 

Her mother commented over a bowl of soup that something seemed different about her. She was hopeful her ‘baby girl’ would get better sooner and that this was a good sign. As the young woman lifted the spoon shakily to her lips she noted with cold fury that her mother had never thought to call her baby girl before. 

A part of her, the part that had sealed itself away at the first sign of trouble was preening under the careful attention. She loved it. It was like she had everything that she ever wanted to have. Her mother was with her almost every second or the day, telling her that she was loved, that she’d get through this. Giving her small gifts, cooking specifically her favorite food. Her father even took time off from work to visit her now. At more times than Christmas or Thanksgiving. He was even at her birthday this year. That part of her had longed to have both of their attention. Even her stupid brother had taken an interest in her recovery.

…Though Sayu suspected that his presence might have been out of guilt rather than concern. He’d always been… odd… like that.  
Best to address that later, she guessed.

She sighed, slumping slightly in her chair, allowing the spoon to clatter on the table without protest. Her mother fussed in the background, heading over to her side. Her hand was stopped by a paler, smaller hand. Sayu looked at her mom and in a voice smaller than she had hoped said, “I got it.” 

The lines around her mother’s eyes crinkled and she put a smile on her face. Hope was powerful.


End file.
